How to receive spiritual direction from a monk
Spiritual direction is a prayerful conversation that helps a person notice God’s action in everyday life. A monk may offer a steady, attentive presence while you reflect on prayer, decisions, relationships, suffering, work and the desire for deeper faith. The purpose is not to receive quick answers, but to grow in freedom, honesty and attentiveness to the Holy Spirit.
At Mother of the Redeemer Monastery in Plaisance, Louisiana, spiritual guidance is understood within an Olivetan Benedictine community shaped by the liturgy, Scripture, silence and the rhythm of monastic prayer. A conversation with a monk may be connected to a retreat, a visit, a period of discernment or a longer relationship arranged with the community.
For someone in Australia, receiving this kind of support may involve an online conversation, a visit during travel to the United States or an initial conversation with a local parish priest. A person in Sydney, Brisbane, Melbourne or regional New South Wales may need to consider time zones, travel costs and the practical rhythm of work and family life before making arrangements.
The most helpful approach is simple and respectful: pray about the desire for direction, contact the monastery through its proper channels and explain what you are seeking. Spiritual direction works best when expectations are clear, confidentiality is respected and both the monk and the visitor can discern whether the relationship is appropriate.
Understand what spiritual direction is
A spiritual director listens for the movement of grace in a person’s life. He does not take control of decisions or act as a substitute for a psychologist, doctor, financial adviser or parish priest. Instead, he helps someone bring ordinary experiences before God and recognise patterns in prayer, temptation, consolation, fear and hope.
A monk may ask gentle questions such as what has been happening in prayer, where you sense peace, what leaves you unsettled or how a particular choice affects your relationship with Christ. Silence may form part of the meeting. You are not required to produce an impressive account of your faith; a truthful account of confusion or spiritual dryness can be more useful.
The relationship is usually regular rather than occasional. Meetings might take place monthly or at another agreed interval, giving you time to pray and observe what unfolds between conversations. A director may suggest Scripture, a small spiritual practice or a way to prepare for the next meeting, but the aim remains discernment rather than dependence.
Approach the monastery with preparation
Before contacting the monastery, spend several days identifying why you want spiritual direction now. You might be seeking help with prayer, vocational discernment, a change in family circumstances, recovery after loss or a desire to live the Catholic faith more deliberately. Write a short summary for yourself, without trying to solve everything in advance.
It is useful to read about the community’s prayer-centred life and its approach to monastic vocations. If your interest includes learning about a possible call to religious life, the monastery’s vocation information can help distinguish a conversation about general spiritual direction from a formal enquiry about becoming a monk.
When you write or call, introduce yourself plainly. Include your location in Australia, your parish or faith background if relevant, the kind of support you seek and whether you hope to visit in person or speak remotely. Mention your availability in Australian Eastern, Central or Western time, since Louisiana operates on a different schedule and an agreed time avoids confusion.
Make the first contact respectfully
The monastery website is the natural place to find current contact details, visiting information and news about the community. A short email is usually better than a long account of every difficulty. Monks receive many kinds of enquiries, so a clear subject line such as “Request for spiritual direction” helps your message reach the right person.
Allow time for a reply. Monastic communities follow a fixed schedule of prayer, work, meals and rest, and correspondence may not be handled with the speed expected from a commercial service. If you are in Perth or Adelaide, the time difference can be especially significant. A request sent during your morning may arrive while the community is asleep or engaged in the evening office.
The first response may come from a monk who needs to learn more before agreeing to meet. This is ordinary discernment, not a rejection. The monastery may recommend another director, suggest a retreat, ask you to speak with your parish priest or explain that a monk is unable to take on new people at that time.
Prepare for the conversation
Before each meeting, set aside a quiet period for prayer and review. Note significant events, recurring thoughts, moments of gratitude, patterns of discouragement and anything that seems to draw you towards or away from God. A few written points can help you remain focused, especially if you are speaking online from a busy Australian household.
Begin with what is real rather than what sounds spiritually polished. You can say that prayer feels dry, that you are angry with God, that you keep avoiding a decision or that a particular desire has become persistent. A monk is not expecting a performance. Honest speech gives the director something concrete to listen to.
For a remote meeting, choose a private room and test the connection beforehand. Turn off notifications and avoid taking the call while driving, commuting on the Sydney train network or sitting in a crowded café. If your home is noisy, explain this at the beginning and arrange a better setting for later meetings where possible.
Receive guidance without surrendering responsibility
A spiritual director offers perspective, but you remain responsible for your decisions. Guidance should lead to a more mature relationship with God and a clearer exercise of conscience, not passive obedience to every suggestion. Major choices may also require advice from family, a parish priest, a qualified counsellor or another professional.
This distinction matters when the subject includes trauma, depression, anxiety, addiction or serious mental health concerns. A monk can pray with you and support your spiritual life, but clinical care belongs with appropriately trained health professionals. In Australia, your GP, psychologist, Lifeline or local health service may be important parts of a wider support network.
Healthy direction has appropriate boundaries. Meetings have an agreed length and setting, personal information is treated with care and the relationship does not become secretive, controlling or emotionally exclusive. If a conversation raises concerns about safety or professional conduct, speak with a trusted priest or relevant safeguarding authority.
Allow the relationship to develop slowly
Trust generally grows through consistency. After several meetings, you may notice that the same concerns return with greater clarity, that prayer becomes more honest or that you are less driven by immediate emotion. These changes can be quiet. Spiritual progress is often seen in patience, courage and charity rather than unusual experiences.
The monk may invite you to remain with one Gospel passage, attend Mass more regularly, establish a modest prayer rule or examine your day before sleep. Keep practices realistic. Someone working long hours in Melbourne, caring for children in regional Queensland or managing a farm schedule in rural Victoria may need a simple discipline that can survive ordinary disruptions.
A visit to the monastery can deepen the experience through silence, liturgy and the physical setting. Reviewing the community’s monastery photos may help you become familiar with the grounds before travelling, but photographs cannot replace practical planning. Confirm accommodation, transport from the airport, retreat availability and whether a monk can meet with you during your stay.
Discern the right form of support
Spiritual direction from a monk is one possible form of Catholic accompaniment. A diocesan priest may be more accessible for sacramental questions, while a trained lay spiritual director may offer regular online meetings in an Australian time zone. A retreat director may provide concentrated support over several days, and an oblate community can offer a way to learn Benedictine spirituality without entering the monastery.
The following comparison can help clarify what you are seeking:
| Form of support | Main purpose | Typical setting | Useful when |
|---|---|---|---|
| Monastic spiritual direction | Prayerful discernment and growth in faith | Monastery visit or arranged online meeting | You are drawn to silence, liturgy and Benedictine wisdom |
| Parish priest conversation | Sacramental, pastoral and local guidance | Parish or presbytery | You need accessible support near home |
| Retreat direction | Focused reflection over a set period | Retreat house or monastery | You need space to step back from normal routines |
| Catholic counsellor or psychologist | Mental health and emotional care | Clinic or telehealth | Distress, trauma or clinical symptoms require treatment |
| Vocational enquiry | Discernment about religious life | Monastery correspondence and visits | You are seriously considering becoming a monk |
Practical steps for a fruitful beginning
- Pray briefly each day for honesty, freedom and attentiveness before making contact.
- Write a concise account of what you hope to discern or understand.
- Check the monastery’s current contact, visitor and retreat details.
- State your Australian location and preferred communication times.
- Protect privacy by choosing a quiet place for online meetings.
- Continue appropriate pastoral, medical or psychological support alongside spiritual direction.
- Review the arrangement after several meetings and discuss any concerns openly.
The aim is a relationship that helps you listen more deeply to God and live your vocation with greater steadiness. Whether you are exploring monastic life, seeking renewal after a difficult season or simply longing for a more faithful prayer life, begin with a respectful message to Mother of the Redeemer Monastery. A clear request, patient correspondence and willingness to pray may open the way to a conversation that bears fruit over time.